The Driver’s Seat January 20, 2011
Posted by Dan R. Dick in Christian witness, Communication in the Church, Congregational Life.Tags: Christian Community, church, Communication, Values
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In college, I had three friends that I hung out with on a regular basis. Whenever we went anywhere, there was a brief battle over who would drive and who would ride shotgun. I am a very basic, boring driver — taking the easiest route, staying within 7 miles per hour of the speed limit, and not taking any chances. Scott was a cruiser, driving around for the sake of driving around, and almost always guaranteeing we would be late no matter where we went. Steve was cocky — a “real” driver (in his estimation), commanding the road, and viewing driving as a competitive event. George was simply a bad driver, clueless, luckless, and a danger to every person on the road. We often let George ride shotgun just so he wouldn’t get behind the wheel. The problem was, each of us thought that we were “good” drivers — that the way we drove was the “right” or “best” way. It made us extremely critical of each other when we went anywhere. In retrospect, it makes me wonder why we went so many places together.
Our problem was confusing style with integrity and opinion with truth. Fact: we always got where we were going. Fact: we never had an accident. Fact: none of us ever got pulled over or given a ticket. Fact: none of us were truly reckless. Yet, we constantly argued about who was the best driver. This memory comes to mind almost every time I work with churches around conflict situations. In at least 80% of the cases, there is no clear right or wrong, no one who is clearly grounded in truth while all others reside in a sticky miasma of delusion. So much of our distress and difficulty in our local churches is nothing more than a clash of opinions or preferences parading themselves around as God-given-truth. We lose all sense of perspective as we fight for what we want — our sense of personal entitlement trumping any and all other considerations.
